Here's why I don’t have picky kids

Other parents always remark on my “good eaters.” It’s my favorite compliment.

My girls, now 5 and 8, are indeed good eaters (by American kid standards). And by that I mean they’re willing to try new foods without much fuss, order off the adult menu, and don’t have a limited list of things they eat and don’t eat. They ask for Indian food for their birthdays, eat packs of seaweed like it’s a bag potato chips, and will finish any meal I put on the table. (Albeit sometimes with some complaining.)

But, it wasn’t an easy road getting them there. I had to navigate power struggles and aversions to previously favorite foods as much as any parent. Still, I stayed consistent (and persistent) throughout the hard years, never resorted to giving them “kid food,” and don’t bribe them with dessert. I now have the living proof to prove my methods worked! (At least for my kids.)

If your kid is a picky eater, getting them to eat a balanced meal is a daily challenge for everyone involved. Trying new foods is even more stressful. But don’t worry—most picky eaters start to get better by age 5.

Until then, here are some guidelines that could help your picky eater situation.

1. Be patient, but persistent

These two sound counterproductive, but it’s a significant practice to maintain if you want to make progress with your picky eaters.

It’s best to have patience to manage a picky eater, but that shouldn’t mean allowing them to have the upper hand. Persistence here means never giving up on introducing new meals, even when you know the food will be rejected. It helps to offer various options, but the trick is to do that gradually.

You’ll likely feel discouraged initially, but remember, these things take time. Parents are usually advised to respect their picky eaters' preferences, but there’s a thin line between that and tolerating them.

One way to do it is to keep a mix of healthy foods at home, including your child’s preferences. Depending on the meal, you can mix your picky eater’s favorite ingredients with new ones to motivate them.

2. Adopt healthy ways to BEAT hunger before meal times

Have you considered how often your kid snacks throughout the day? Cookies, drinks, chips, and other snack items at home can become major distractions.

These foods may be low on the nutritional scale, but they take up a lot of space in the stomach. So when your little has been snacking one hour before lunch or dinner, nothing on the table looks appealing. I get why you want to give in to snack demands—especially when the main meal isn’t ready yet—but it just sets you up for failure at the table.

Instead, try offering a portion of fruit or other foods that stimulate kid’s appetites, like whole milk, bananas, avocados, or apples. Better yet, start dinner earlier and beat the hunger monster before it rears its ugly head.

(Total side note: Speaking of apples, you can get creative by baking this apple cobbler and keeping it in the fridge or freezer.)

3. Avoid using unhealthy rewards

The Society of Pediatric Psychology found that many parents adopt unhealthy reward systems and strategies for picky eaters—like promising dessert or other treat after eating a healthy meal.

In an effort to make mealtimes exciting, it helps to avoid rewarding unhealthy foods. Unconsciously, you reinforce the idea that vegetables and other nutritious foods are unworthy to be offered as rewards.

An occasional treat or ice cream is fine, but the point is to avoid using them consistently as rewards, especially after eating a new dish you introduced.

Instead, you could try replacing unhealthy rewards with praise or a fun activity after a meal. Be specific with your praise, and let your picky eater understand why you acknowledge them.

4. Get professional help when needed

Sometimes, your kid’s eating habit is more than rejecting new foods. It could be a sensory processing disorder that makes them turn their nose up to every dish.

Some nutritional deficiencies can also lead to fussy eating habits. These are medical conditions that require professional help. The sooner you consult a pediatrician or registered dietitian, the better the outcomes.

But more often than not, picky eating is a phase, so don’t stress about it too much. Reports show that many young picky eaters become more receptive to new foods starting at age five. That’s when curiosity peaks, and they want to try new things. Until then, you have my support!